Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
