is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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