They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
