If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so let's talk penis.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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