I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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