ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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