and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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