Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
wow bdsm is so cute
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