i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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