First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
