I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
