We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I enjoy the company of your penis
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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