Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
