I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
