Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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