We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Vodka?
Forever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
