I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
