i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
