I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
