Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
