I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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