No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
