my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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