I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
