Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
