sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
