He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
