It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
