I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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