just come out here and I will go home with you...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
