Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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