Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this boner is exhausting
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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