Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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