I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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