is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
