i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
