Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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