yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
