It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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