she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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