There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You made out with two different species that night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
