Already got asked if we're dating
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We're too hungover to prance.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
