You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
