When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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