It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
