Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
They took my balls.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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