So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
