she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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