we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
