does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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