He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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