And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
