i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need to sanitize my soul.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
