Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize