girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize