I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
