btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
