well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I need moral support for this bender
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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