great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
