I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
