I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Welp...herpes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
