I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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